


Health Class

by EmberCartwright



Series: Tyzula Things [47]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Bisexual Ty Lee (Avatar), F/F, Humor, Lesbian Azula (Avatar), azula definitely antagonizes teachers, health class, tyzula - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28011732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmberCartwright/pseuds/EmberCartwright
Summary: A classic high school showdown. Smart ass student versus fed up teacher.
Relationships: Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar)
Series: Tyzula Things [47]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2019697
Comments: 4
Kudos: 151





	Health Class

“Health class is boring and irrelevant,” Ty Lee complained as she walked towards the classroom with Azula and Mai. 

She tugged on her girlfriend’s hand.

“Please ‘Zula, can we just skip this and go shopping or something,” she asked. “The drugs and alcohol unit was fun but safe sex is such a drag.”

Azula squeezed Ty Lee’s hand and kissed her temple, placating her slightly. 

“I’m glad you feel that way. If I get chlamydia I’ll know why,” she said, chuckling. 

Mai exhaled and smirked, which was her typical laugh.

Ty Lee opened her mouth in shock. 

“I’m not-,” she stuttered. “You’re the only-,” she tried again. “You know that’s not what I meant,” she said in her most menacing tone. 

“I know baby,” Azula whispered into her ear, kissing it. “I’m just teasing,” she said out loud.

“You mean you don’t just _live_ to see Azula terrorize the teacher,” Mai asked in a deadpan.

“I don’t terrorize anyone. Sometimes people just need to be put in their place,” she said with a shrug. 

They approached the room and Azula dropped Ty Lee’s hand, causing her to pout. 

Azula rubbed her arm comfortingly. 

“Let’s sit down first.”

“I can’t believe we came,” Ty Lee grumbled.

“Well good afternoon and good to see you too, Miss Ty Lee,” came a voice from behind them. The health teacher, Ms. Pema, walked past them and into her room. 

Ty Lee blushed. 

“Serves you right,” Mai said. 

The three girls walked into the room and took their usual seats in the way back row. The classroom was partially full and the teacher began class almost immediately after Azula, Mai and Ty Lee settled themselves. 

“Today we will begin the conversation with a discussion about the importance of safety and contraceptive measures. This school does not provide an abstinence only education so all of you get to benefit from lovely powerpoints about not getting pregnant,” Miss Pema said. 

She clicked to the next slide which was just a blank page.

“Very lovely,” Azula drawled quietly from the back. 

A few people giggled.

“Do you have something to say Azula?”

She shook her head. 

“You may proceed,” she said. 

“Thank you for the permission,” Ms. Pema responded curtly, turning back to her board. “Now, this isn’t just a blank page, it’s actually a poll. I want everyone to take out their computers. Not their phones, Azula,” she said glaring at the girl who already had her phone out and was texting someone. 

She shrugged and swapped it for her computer. Everyone else in the class followed suit.

“I want everyone to go to this link,” Ms. Pema said, writing it on the board. “Once you’re there, just answer the two questions. It is entirely anonymous. The first question is how often do you have sex and the second question is asking you to select any and all forms of protection you use, specifically for pregnancy. If you don’t have sex just put none and abstinence as your only form of contraception. There is absolutely no shame in that, abstinence is the only foolproof method. For the sake of today let’s assume all of you are STI free.”

She walked over and sat down at her desk.

“You may commence,” Ms. Pema announced. “Please be as honest as you can be. No one will judge you and it’s only to your benefit.”

Almost immediately two graphs showed up on the board. The graphs were made of slotted boxes with the answers written inside. The one response recorded announced that the person had sex “infrequently” and used a condom. 

“I’m about to make this really interesting for you,” Azula said, whispering to Ty Lee. “Can you help me?”

Ty Lee listened to what she was asking for and then nodded.

“Do I have your permission,” Azula asked.

Ty Lee nodded again.

"Just making sure."

"What are you up to," Mai asked.

"You'll see," Azula smirked.

As the class typed into their computers the bars changed size and length and once all 25 kids had submitted their answers Ms. Pema got up to analyze the results.

“I can see that we still had some people who think they are funny,” she said. 

When the class saw what she was talking about they let out a collective giggle. 

The top two data points on the slide had identical things written in them.

Both anonymous students had claimed to have sex multiple times a day and use no protection at all. 

“Someone thinks that they’re just hilarious but it is actually a great jumping off point for the lesson,” Ms. Pema said, trying to reign in her frustration. 

“It is not amusing to say that you have sex a few times a day because there is a 100% chance you will eventually get pregnant. Unless someone here has the magical, fool proof way to avoid pregnancy." She paused and looked around the room briefly.

"I didn’t think s-'' the teacher was cut off because a student was raising her hand at her rhetorical question. 

It was Azula. 

The whole class giggled again and the teacher looked around, confused.

“I have a method,” she said slowly. “It works one hundred precent of the time, guaranteed.”

“Are you one of the people that put that,” Ms. Pema asked, pointing at the board.

“I thought it was anonymous,” Azula replied, crossing her arms and leaning back lazily. “But for the sake of the argument, if it was me then I would stand by it.”

“If you don’t use any protection, ideally in two forms, you will get pregnant,” Ms. Pema said. 

Azula shook her head. 

“The pullout method not even 80% effective,” Ms. Pema said. 

“I don’t employ that technique,” Azula shot back. 

“Tracking your fertility is only good for family planning, not prevention.”

“Then I’m glad I don’t do that either.” 

Ms. Pema sighed angrily. 

“This is a waste of time,” she said, turning back to the board. 

“If I can prove that I can have sex every day without protection and not get pregnant, can I have a hundred in the class,” Azula called, drawing her attention back to her. 

The entire class looked between the teacher and the student. 

“There is no way you can prove that. Even having a vasectomy or a tubal ligation won't always prevent pregnancy.”

“I have not considered either procedure,” Azula shrugged.

“Fine,” Ms. Pema said, crossing her arms. “I will call your bluff. If you tell me a foolproof method that isn’t abstinence you can have a 100.” 

After several months of having this girl in her class the teacher was fed up and ready to put her in her place. 

“Who here thinks Azula can win this bet,” Toph called out from the front of the room. 

“Thank you for the contribution Beifong,” Azula said.

More than half of the kids in the class raised their hands. Ms. Pema had never seen such complete participation during a rowdy disturbance. It was almost impressive.

“When Azula gets put in her place all of you with your hands up have to write a five page paper,” she said, briefly forgetting that she was a teacher and was supposed to rise above pettiness. "The paper will explain every single contraceptive method, its efficacy, and its popularity since its inception." 

“If Azula proves you wrong, everyone with their hand up should also get a hundred,” Toph countered. 

Ms. Pema pursed her lips. 

“Are you so sure I’m going to be wrong?” Azula baited.

“Fine,” she said. 

Even after thinking long and hard, she couldn't fathom a single way she would lose this altercation, and it had gone too far to back down from. 

“If I’m wrong then everyone has a hundred. When I’m right, Azula and Toph have detention for a week and everyone owes me an essay.”

“Are you ready for this,” Azula said, looking confident as ever. 

“How can you be so self assured,” Ms. Pema asked. "What's your magical secret?"

“I know that I can have as much sex as I want and I will never get pregnant, because I only have sex with Ty Lee,” she said, pointing at her girlfriend who blushed deeply. 

She’d known it was coming but it was still a lot of attention on her at once.

The entire class “oooh”ed and laughed as Ms. Pema took an involuntary step back, shocked. 

“In a country with just as high of an LGBT population in adolescents as there are kids who are addicted to drugs, the health education system is very unfairly balanced,” Azula said. “We spent three weeks on nicotine and different types of vapes but you couldn’t even fathom the idea of two partners who both have vulvas.”

“I, um, I’m sorry,” Ms. Pema said. 

Azula raised an eyebrow and turned to her girlfriend. 

“Aren’t you glad we came today to do this,” she asked, putting her hand facing up on the table.

Ty Lee smiled and took it, giving her a squeeze. 

“Hundreds for everyone,” Toph yelled. 

The entire class cheered.

**Author's Note:**

> Is this Tyzula? It's not Tyzula centric, so to speak, but that's definitely the main aspect. I just thought this would be funny and there were kids like this at my hs.


End file.
